120816P - PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Presentation by Professor Omar Hasan Kasule Sr. at Mombasa Kenya 16^th August 2012

1.0 CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

A. Character And Behavior

B. Personality Traits

C. Moderation

D. Social Action

E. Principled Life

2.0 SELF-IMPROVEMENT

A. Effort To Improve

B. Objectives

C. Inter-Dependence

D. Positive Attitude

E. Futuristic Outlook

3.0 TAKING CHARGE

A. Assertiveness

B. Self Confidence And Self Esteem

D. Self-Reliance:

E. Projecting A Positive Image

F. Entrepreneurial Attitude

4.0 SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT

A. Choosing A Spouse

B. Starting A Family

C. Maintaining A Family

D. Balance Between Work And Family

E. Living In The Community

5.0 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

A. Education

B. Professional Success

C. Professional Networking

D. Economic Empowerment

E. Trials And Tribulations

1.0 CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

A. CHARACTER and BEHAVIOR

Character is what determines what type of individual you are. Good character is a great virtue. The best gift that a parent can give a child is good character. Habits and behaviors are quite consistent. Behavior is likely to be repeated. When you observe bad behavior even once make a note of it because it is likely to be repeated. Character is internal and is related to basic personality. Behavior is its outward manifestation. A habit is a persistent, repeated behavior which after a time becomes unconscious. You can not judge people’s character unless you have interacted with them and seen their behavior. Bad manners and behavior reflect a bad character. Good behavior reflects good character. There are exceptional situations when a behavior may not be reflection of underlying character. These are the exceptions and are only temporary. Consistent observation of behavior over a long time reveals true character.

The following are some of the components of a positive character: Piety, generosity, charity, chastity, trust, humility, balance, moderation, patience, endurance, cooperation, forgiving, ignoring stupid company, reconciliation, honor and dignity, shyness, modesty, integrity, courage, and wisdom. These traits are best manifested in an atmosphere of positive attitudes, optimism, and behavior. Positive behavior includes: controlling the appetite by eating little, fasting, sexual self-control, fulfilling needs of others, mercy, good words and acts; and good deeds which wipe out bad ones.

B. PERSONALITY TRAITS

Integrity, amanat, is when actions are in conformity with your values. Values are universal. Knowledge of what is bad is innate. The Prophet (PBUH) taught that evil is what scratches your chest making you uncomfortable, al sharr ma haaka fi al sadr. Religious teachings of what is right and what is wrong only reinforce what good nature already knows. Integrity in essence means successfully carrying and discharging the trust. The trust may be moral or material. Moral trusts include being truthful, trustworthy, and keeping promises and undertakings. Material trusts are property and financial rights of others that must not be violated. Integrity is needed in work, leadership, and moral guidance of others. A distinguishing human attribute of humans is acceptance to carry trust, haml al amanat. A person with integrity fulfils the trust, adau al amanat. Believers are conscious of the trust, ri'ayat al amanat. Any breach of integrity is a breach of the trust, khiyanat al amanat. Never utter an untruth. It is better to keep quiet even in situations in which silence makes you look a fool. There are no white lies. All lies are an untruth and should never be uttered. Your promises and commitments are sacred. Never make any if you are not sure of keeping them. Keeping promises indicates both integrity and efficiency. An organized person who knows what he can or can not do and who manages his time well is less likely to make promises he can not keep.

Courage, shaja'at,:The essence of courage is to stand up to evil with the full realisation that such a stand may invite unpleasant consequences for you. This is under the general rubric of forbidding evil, nahy al munkar. The supreme level of courage is to face one self and stand up to the inner desires and passions, hiwa al nafs. The high level of courage is to attempt to change evil physically. The middle level is to speak out against it evil. The lowest level is to hate evil in the heart. Courage is needed morally, physically, and emotionally. Moral courage is needed to know your-self, self-criticize, and decide to improve. Social courage is needed to stick to morally right choices in your life even though the society around you may behave differently. Physical courage is needed to stand up for your rights and face the consequences.

Wisdom, hikmat, is a sign of maturity. Being given hikmat is being given a lot of good. Learn the difference between ‘ilm and hikmat. ‘Ilm is knowledge. Hikmat is a higher level of understanding and using knowledge taking into consideration previous experiences and high moral guiding principles. You are better off with less knowledge and more hikmat. A lot of 'ilm with no hikmat is positively dangerous.

Patience, sabr, is needed to deal with problems of life. Problems must be met with inner strength and a sense of hope. Lack of patience is associated with wrong choices and moves. Endurance and perseverance are part of patience. Patience and perseverance is the ability to stick it out and weather all adversities with a strong heart. You must arm yourself to avoid the human tendency to be impatient in expectation of an event or when afflicted by a calamity.

Humility, tawadhu'u,.is the beginning of wisdom and is part of iman. Know that you have limitations. Do not deceive yourself that you are superior whatever you may be endowed with. Always remember that there are others who may be your equals or actually better than you. Whatever you may have, you are insignificant in front of Allah the Almighty.

Self-restraint, 'Iffat,:Iffat has a lot of rewards, ajr al iffat. The Qur'an has discussed it in many verses. This is because a human has passions and inner evil promptings that if not controlled will lead to evil action. There are also many temptations in the external social environment that can lead to evil unless countered by a strong self-restraint and self-control. Sex is the most powerful drive in humans that can lead to evil. Chastity and sexual discipline is necessary for individual and societal well being. Keep away from zina and what could lead to it. Zina is taken in its comprehensive sense and not the physical act of fornication. Zina of the eye, the mouth, the toungue are destructive to marriage and society in general.

Modesty, haya,:Haya is a very important component of character and is considered part of iman. To be modest is to set limits beyond which there is immorality and sin. A modest person stays shy of those limits and will refrain from things that are clearly permissible but if done in excess can lead to transgression of the limits. Such transgression could also occur by mistake with no malicious intent. Haya is part of iman. The whole character of Islam is based on it, khulq al Islam al haya. The Prophet said that if one has no haya at all then he can do anything. Haya is therefore the protecting barrier against evil. Haya is always good and can never be negative, al haya khayr kullihi. Haya is a decoration of the person who has it, al haya ziinat. Haya is the way of all messengers, al haya min sunan al mursalin.

Simplicity is beauty and power. Make your daily life simple; you will get strength. Do not live in much luxury or crowd your mind with so much of worldly, dunia, concerns. Consider your physical environment as an aid to fulfilling your mission and not an end in itself. Wealth and its accumulation can be a temptation, fitnat.

C. MODERATION

Equilibrium and moderation, i'itidaal&wastiyyat: Moderation is the best approach. Be balanced in your attitudes and actions. Avoid extreme positions because you can never have all the facts and full understanding of a particular situation. Taking a middle path gives you a chance to change positions and follow what is right and what is best. You however should never be moderate where evil and immorality are concerned. You must take a clear and extreme position for what is moral and right. Stick your head up high to be counted among supporters of the good and the moral and among opponents of evil. Your actions regarding an evil situation should, however, be moderate to avoid creating new problems that may be worse than the original problem. Be moderate in expenditure; not wasteful and not miserly. Be calm and controlled in moments of emotional arousal, good and bad. Wrong and inappropriate decisions are likely at moments of anger or emotional excitement when the normal balance is lost

D. SOCIAL ACTION

Good acts and words, al hasanaat, wipe away or neutralize the bad. You should hasten to do good. While always engaged in doing good, there is little room for the bad. Never injure anyone with your tongue. Say good or keep quiet. Learn to work with others in doing good and forbidding bad. Sharing and helping others helps you become even a better human being. It gives you a sense of mission beyond your physical needs. Give charity continuously; it cleanses both your wealth and your soul. Putting interests of your brothers in front of yours helps you discover your humanity and conquers your egoistic tendencies. Iithaar involves doing good for others at the expense of some inconvenience to yourself for the sake of brotherhood with no expectation of any reward. Respecting the rights of the older people. Removing any annoyance from the road.

Keep good company. Look for and stay in the company of wise people. You will learn the good from them. Their company will reinforce the good in you. Time spent in such good company is time taken away from possible bad company or bad influences. Do not trust or deal with bad people except in trying to correct and lead them to the right. Ignore stupid and immoral company. They will have a negative impact on you however careful you are. The least they can do is to decrease your sensitivity to evil and increase your toleration for it.

E. PRINCIPLED LIFE

Principled and purposive life: You must have a principled life. To succeed you must be guided in life by high moral principles and not expediency. You must make responsible choices and stick with their consequences. You must understand that there are limits to freedom. You may be constrained by previous commitments in making a new choice. After making the first choice you have only a limited range of later choices that you can make. A complete and well- balanced personality requires consistency, constancy and moving ahead following well defined goals and milestones. Life must have a purpose and goals. The highest purpose is achieving the pleasure of Allah. In addition to seeking the pleasure of Allah, you must set personal goals both long and short term. The goals have to be reasonable expectations, and imaginative. Personal goals must be specific, actionable, attainable, and challenging. You must be committed to the goals and must be attuned to any feedback that helps refine or modify goals. If you are without a clear sense of direction, you will make many mistakes and eventually fail. Personal goals should stay permanent for a reasonable period of time. Frequent shifting of goal posts is a cause of failure.

2.0  SELF-IMPROVEMENT

A. EFFORT TO IMPROVE

You can not improve yourself without effort. You must make the intention to be a better person and take action to achieve your goals. Life is not chance. Everything that occurs is pre-destined. You however do not know your predestination. You have to work hard, search for it, use your will power and choice that Allah gave you. Accept personal responsibility for mistakes. Do not blame others for your problems. Learn from your past experiences, positive and negative. Good manners or experiences should be reinforced while bad ones should be avoided. 

B. OBJECTIVES

ULTIMATE OBJECTIVES

Keep in mind always the three ultimate objectives: (a) the pleasure of Allah, ridha al laah & marudhaat al llaah, (b) wisdom, hikmah, and (c) success, falaah. The real and ultimate success is that of the hereafter.

HAPPINESS

Happiness is not an objective in life. Pursuing happiness can be running after an illusion since happiness is not definable. The realistic objective is contentment and satisfaction with yourself and what you have. However contentment should not be understood in a negative sense of refusing to take active steps to improve some of the negative things in your character and behavior.

NEEDS VS WANTS

Learn to distinguish between what you want and what you need. Wants are emotional; needs are rational. Always choose needs over wants. Be realistic. Do not live in a dream world. Dreaming is good in motivating you and developing your creative thinking. Dreaming has limits if it obscures correct perception of reality. Never entertain illusions about your strengths and weaknesses. Never deceive yourself. Never allow others to deceive you by praising you and giving you attributes you lack. Such persons are your true enemies. Confront your weaknesses and do not deny them. Do something about correcting them

C. INTER-DEPENDENCE

You can not succeed on your own; this is a world of interdependence. You must learn to net-work and collaborate with others in synergistic relations. Good manners and behavior are necessary for positive and meaningful interaction with people. You need to learn to respect and protect the rights of others so that your rights may also be respected. Every action, behavior, or habit has consequences. Always consider and think about the long-term consequences before you speak or act.

D. POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Develop a positive attitude. Be optimistic and develop positive behavior. The world is essentially good and the hereafter much better. There is more good than evil. You can always succeed in the long-run if you do not become pessimistic and give up. Look at problems of life in perspective. What may look big may not be so in the long run. You may hate today what turns out to be good tomorrow. See and emphasize the positive in any problem.

E. FUTURISTIC OUTLOOK

You should consider yourself as living in the future. Life on earth is just a transition. Always prepare for the future (both what remains of your life on earth and life in the hereafter). A futuristic outlook will enable you to deal with setbacks of life. You should always know that the future could always be better.

3.0 TAKING CHARGE

A. ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness: Assertiveness is a feeling of self-worth in dealing with others. It involves a lot of self-control. Non-assertive people may end up being influenced by a bad environment or they may make wrong choices that they regret later. Non-assertive persons can not interact well with others because they can not state their opinions or advance their interests or the interests of the group they belong to. A non-assertive attitude becomes in the long run a feeling of inferiority that could be exploited. Non-assertive persons may feel so bad about themselves that they eventually react in socially destructive ways. Non-assertive persons are easily influenced by bad company and end up committing evil. Assertiveness is not aggression but is closely related. Do not cross the line between the two. You can show anger without being bad. Learn to state your opinion without being hostile. Learn to defend your position without being defensive.

Self-control: Being assertive is learning to take control. A person who has self-control can stand up to the temptations of shaitan. The following are needed for you to take control of your self: self- confidence, self-esteem, self-reliance, self-control, self-discipline, and self-development.

Self-discipline: Self discipline is needed for success. Control your whims and emotions. Stickability is a good trait; do not accept defeat easily. Act according to long-term and not short-term interests. Do not act impulsively. Follow your head and not your emotions. Trust your instincts.

B. SELF CONFIDENCE and SELF ESTEEM

Self-confidence: Self-confidence is to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, to be comfortable with what you are, and to be psychologically secure. Children are born with a lot of self-confidence. They lose it as they grow through various negative experiences. Others’ views and comparing one self with others are among the causes of loss of self-confidence. True confidence is expressed and shows quietly. Many inconfident people make noise to hide their inner weakness.

Self-esteem:You can raise your self-esteem by being secure psychologically about yourself. You must accept and appreciate what you are. You have to love yourself and know that whatever Allah endowed you with is the best for you. Look around you and identify people you admire. Try to emulate the qualities you admire in them. Stay with good people who radiate self-esteem and confidence. Congratulate and encourage yourself on any progress you make in emulating good behavior. Learn to compliment and congratulate others who have traits and behaviors that you admire. This will keep you from negative attitudes and diseases like envy and will push you along on the road to developing your own self-esteem. Avoid people with bad character and behavior. Others who do not know will consider you to be one of them. It is easier for a big mountain to move than for bad character to change. Do not repeat a mistake. Remember that character is consistent. Bad behavior is rarely an accident. It can be forgiven but can not be erased

D. SELF-RELIANCE:

Self-help and self-improvement are very important for the individual. They are in essence taking charge of your life, relying on yourself in solving problems, and taking the initiative to improve. It is only emotionally mature individuals who can rely on themselves. Dependency is childhood. Self-help and self-reliance should however not be taken to the extreme. There are occasions when you need help and must have networks for providing this help. Refusing to ask for help when needed is a cause of stress and is not wise. Economic self-reliance is necessary in order not to be a burden on others and also to assert your self-esteem. However the need to keep your self-esteem should never make you refuse to seek help when you actually need it. A vital distinction must be made between being childish and child-like. Childishness is dependency and inability to achieve emotional maturity, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Child-like on the other hand is a very positive attribute. It emphasizes being explorative, taking initiative, being bold to experiment, being optimistic, and not feeling defeated or cornered. These behaviors are found in children and tend to annoy parents. They are very useful for the adult. The mistake is for children to grown up too soon or for adults to regress to childhood in the way they use these attributes.

E. PROJECTING A POSITIVE IMAGE

Projecting a positive image helps build credibility and leads to success. We are not talking about a phoney image that is discovered sooner or later with disastrous consequences. The image must be backed up by real achievements. It is better to under promise but over deliver. Perceptions are very strong determinants of behavior. You have to keep away from negative perceptions and cultivate positive ones. Two individuals looking at the same reality have different perceptions because of their prior life experiences. Always evaluate yourself. The perceived image may not be the intended image. The difference is crucial. Self- confidence and self-discipline are ingredients of a positive image. You have to start by discovering your strengths and enhancing them. You have to acknowledge your weaknesses and compensate for them. A positive image needs maintenance by regular self-evaluation and taking corrective action where needed. A positive image must be maintained in difficult times; this will require extra effort. Keeping company with people who have a positive self-image will help you develop your own image. Positive thinking is contagious; it spreads to those around. Your communication with others (letter, fax, telephone, and conversation) is an exercise in image projection. Physical appearance (clothes, hair, cleanliness) also project image. Dress well but not for arrogance. Good manners, correct etiquette, and sensitivity enhance the image. Your voice, handshake, smiles, body language, and eye contact can make or unmake your image. Your posture and manner of walking can tell a lot about you. Solving your personal problems and keeping out of depression, anxiety or stress help maintain your positive self-image.

F. ENTREPRENEURIAL ATTITUDE

You need to develop an entrepreneurial attitude. This requires developing initiative, optimism, and self-confidence in order to bolster your creativity. Take calculated risks. Look for opportunities and exploit them. Perseverance and determination are necessary for continued success.

4.0 SOCIAL and PRFOFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

A. SETTING AND MAINTAIMNING A FAMILY

CHOOSING A SPOUSE: getting married and starting a family is a natural drive that cannot be put off for long or forever. It is an important link in the cycle of human development starting with infancy and childhood and evolving into early adulthood. The adult marries and gets children to start the next generation. The family provides physical and psychological protection for children to grow well into adults who will continue the cycle of human growth. The choice of the right spouse is the beginning of success. Wrong choices result in family failure and eventual breakdown with adverse effects on the children and the parents. It is therefore very important to marry a compatible spouse. There is no absolutely ‘right’ spouse for all but there is a right spouse for each person. For success each young adult must search for a partner who is compatible. This does not mean a carbon copy. It also does not mean 100% compatibility because that does not happen in practice. The best that we should look for is maximum compatibility and minimum incongruences.

STARTING A FAMILY: the family officially starts with marriage ceremonies but does not become complete until children appear. The family needs a geographical niche called a home that provides protection from outside interference (social and physical) to enable the family leave as a unit and nurture one another.

MAINTAINING A FAMILY: It is not enough to start a family for it to survive. Active efforts are needed to maintain it. These involve dealing with conflicts and challenges. The family requires protection and promotion.The family must be able to provide the physical needs of its members including food and healthcare.

BALANCE BETWEEN WORK AND FAMILY: It is a paradox that the young adult who needs time and energy to look after the family has at the same time to work and provide for the family. Work and family responsibilities compete for time and establishing the right equilibrium is often not easy. If the equilibrium veers towards the career, family life is impaired. If the equilibrium veers towards the family, career development is impaired.

B. LIVING IN THE COMMUNITY

DUTIES AND RIGHTS: Living in a community entails accepting communal duties and responsibilities. If not controlled, they may interfere adversely with personal or family interests. Living in a community also has its benefits that come in the form of rights and privileges. Honest and upright community members fulfill their duties to their best ability. They in return enjoy the rights and privileges of community membership. Dishonest members of the community seek to enjoy the rights without giving back to the community. If such selfish attitude is widespread in the community, community welfare will be impaired to the detriment of all its members.

CONFLICT OF DUTIES: A member of the community must balance community duties with family duties. Personal duties must be balanced against community duties. There are no hard and fast rules for finding the right balance. Most people follow existing community norms. In the end an individual must be guided by inner conscience and personal priorities in making the right choices. These priorities should however not be selfish ones. They should take into account family and community interests. If one acts according to well selected priorities success is more likely and there will be more satisfaction.

TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS:Allah cannot leave people without trying them. The trials distinguish the good from the bad. Trials distinguish those who struggle from those who do not. People are tried like those who came before. Some people turn around when tried.

C. PROFESSIONAL EDUCATION AND TRAINING

BASIC EDUCATION: A good basic education in childhood is the foundation for adult professional success. A weak foundation in primary and secondary school leads to severe professional handicaps. The basic preparation involves literacy (language) and numeracy (basics of quantitative methods). Above these two is the socialization at school to live as a member of a community and the discipline to work in a structured way. Most professions today require many years of education starting from elementary through secondary school to college.

POSTGRADUATE EDUCATION: College education is no longer sufficient for most of today’s professions. Postgraduate education and training are a minimum.

PROFESSIONAL TRAINING: There is a difference between education that is academic and training that is practical. A good general and wide education is necessary for any profession. The specialized nature of professions requires

D. PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS

GOOD CHARACTER: Having a good character that generates trust and respect among peers and superiors is the most important factor in professional success. This must be genuine character and not acting out.

APPRECENTICESHIP / MENTORING: A young adult starting out on the ladder of professional success should attach himself or herself to an established elder professional who can act as a mentor and as a guide. The mentor-mentee relationship must be genuine. The mentee must respect the mentor and not look at him or her as a ladder to step on and to be discarded as soon as the professional goals are achieved.

SETTING GOALS and TIME FRAME

GROWTH

DELIVERY OF QUALITY RESULTS and NOT PR

PROFESSIONAL NETWORKING: (a) IDENTIFICATION OF STRATEGIC PARTNERS: Mutual benefit and not manipulating or using people (b) widening circles: MUSLIM CIRCLES, PROFESSIONAL CIRCLES, WIDER SOCIAL CIRCLES, political networking, NURTURING CONTACTS

E. ECONOMIC EMPOWERMENT

• OBJECTIVE OF SELF-EMPLOYMENT

• LONG-TERM DEVELOPMENT PLAN

• ACCUMULATION OF ASSETS:

• INVESTMENT STRATEGY

• MUSLIM ECONOMIC BASE

5.0 GROUP DISCUSSIONS (to be given later)